Ends Alone
by optimusprimus001
Summary: A 'fork in the road' from my OP2O2OP story between the second & third parts. An Autobot has died, but his spark still lingers. The question everyone wants to ask him: Why? They all have a piece to the puzzle, but it'll take everyone to find the answer...
1. Tears

optimusprimus001: Right now, this is just a oneshot/teaser for a future story I'm possibly looking into doing. Reviews are always appreciated, whether just a compliment or a critique, comments are still welcome (and always will be). This may or may not be updated, depends on how many reviews you readers can scrounge together.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just the sadness... And despair... And death. (There's death in this thing? Oo;)

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**Ends Alone**

_(Epilouge/Teaser)_

It was cold here. There seemed to be no light at all, mattering not if my optics were online or off. Just an overwhelming darkness in the depths of night. It's so cold and lonely, where I am, though the city sparkles at me from the inviting balcony. I could see the lights in the restraunt windows from here, if I wanted to, and the lamps that line the streets. The office windows in the distance seem to stretch forever towards the night sky, which give off their own, soft glow. Even so, the lights only make it seem darker here in my room. And _alone_.

That was the worst part, being alone. Without someone here, someone to care... Missing him-- it hurts more than anyone could imagine. Still, at times, I continue to think of him... What is he doing now? Does he have a family, now that I've left? Did someone far truer than I could have ever been find him, and remain with him for these seven years past? I hope, for him, that he has. He shouldn't have to go through the pain I have.

But most of all, I wonder if he's happy.

And that's the thought that lingers, even as I move away from the cool, glass window to the corner in my room. That thought is the one that refuses to leave. It nags at me, though I know he _must _be happy. Nothing can harm him, he's too strong for it. So strong, he reaches out to take other's pains, their sorrow, their harm. Loves taking it, too. Enjoys helping everything he can, even if it isn't his place to help, isn't much of his concern, isn't anything he _needs_ to do. He just does. And to be honest, it drove me up the wall when I first met him. That was before I understood him. It didn't take long before I realized there was no changing him, and if anyone was going to have a chance, they would have to be willing to change. Which certianly wasn't me. I left soon afterwards, hoping he'd be far happier with someone who could understand him even better than I. And so, '_He **is **happy'_ has become my constant reassurance of my leaving him...

Yet somehow, it still hurts. A lot.

But everything hurts now, no matter what I do. Every day, I somehow have more bruises, scrapes, and scars. I can only cry myself to sleep once every few megacycles. Everytime I come out of recharge slower than the last time, if I manage to rest. I have trouble concentrating when I'm at work in the library. I lack the motivation to eat. I slid down against the wall in the corner of the room to a sitting position, and wrapped my arms around my knees. Then I shut my optics off, praying to Primus that I could simply just fall asleep like I used to...

He was there again, watching me with those light-blue optics of his. A frown gently touched my lips, and he merely stood before me, his intense gaze on my face.

"What do you want?" I whispered, "Why can't you just leave me _alone_?"

He didn't answer, simply continueing to watch me. I mustered the courage to lift my face slightly to 'look' at his, giving him what would have been a glare, "Can't you see I'm not good enough for you? I can't change enough for us to stay together... You need to move on!... I'm sorry..." I tried to tell him, breaking into tears as I did so.

He remained silent. And I buried my face in my arms, sobbing, "Go away... please... just go... I can't love you... Go away... please..."

I felt a warm, ghostly hand brush against my face, pushing my tears away, and I brought my head up to see his face again. Only the emotion I saw there shook me to the core, and I felt my optics widen in astonishment. Because...

He was _sad_.

"Optimus," I breathed, tears dampening my face even more, and my optics flashed online... To find myself alone once again. Stunned, I numbly got to my feet and stumbled over to the balcony and struggled to open the door leading out. I shakily moved over to grip the railing, and stared out at the city below. I remained there, listening to the soft breeze that held his gentle voice calling me...

"_Elita..._"


	2. Chimes

Subi: Alright, so I'm _supposed_ to be working on my Swords story... The main issue with that is this- I don't know where to go from the point I've left off at... So sue me. I'm working on figuring it out. It'll get up sometime soon (hopefully). Just to note, the bold/italic part is the computer, and the main section of italics is the actual journal entry.

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**Chimes**

_**DATA ARCHIVE: TAE-01AB-014 PRIME**_

_**TYPE: JOURNAL RECORD**_

_**FILE NUMBER: 0000021764**_

_**RESTRICTED FILE! PASSWORD?**_

Pax.

_**OVERRIDE ACCEPTED. RETRIEVING FILE... LOADING...**_

_**LOGGED ENTRY:**_

_I saw Elita again today. For such a large city, we seem to keep running into each other here in Iacon. We were talking over lunch and I found out why she fears her adoptive brother so much. It would seem that her 'brother' is a forcer, and it explains a lot on why she keeps trying to avoid going home. I'm not sure what I can do to help, but I swear on my life I'll be there to support her if she asks for it._

_Talked to Magnus earlier. He said he's living in an apartment on the other side of the city now. To be honest, I'm a little surprised its taken Sentinel so long to kick him out. However, from the sounds of it, Sentinel has been on edge for the past few months, so I suppose Magnus might have left onhis own to give him some more space to work out his problems. I haven't heard from him in that amount of time. Magnus says he hasn't heard from him either. I hope Sentinel's alright._

_Had a strange vision last night... It was terrifying. I hope... I hope it never truly happens. I don't want to put too much of it down, due to trying to recall such things usually sets off my memory attacks, but I'll briefly describe it... I'm not sure where it was, but there was a huge battle on the outskirts of a city- I think it might have been Iacon-, and I was participating in it. I remember thinking I saw Jetfire go down at some point, and Prowl... But I remember two other mechs that were nearby and... the silver Decepticon from Atlantis was there... I recall me challenging him, but he didn't take me seriously. I saw myself lunging out to stop him, but he fired on Magnus and another blue, white, and gold sparkling that were there... All I remember after that was a crushing pain in my chest..._

_I hope this vision doesn't come true, I get the feeling I was related to the sparkling closer than I am to Magnus..._

_**END FILE. NEW INQUIRY?**_

"No," I told the computer in front of me. "Shut down systems to standby."

_**SHUTTING DOWN...**_

For a long moment, I sat with my chin resting on my clasped hands as I leaned on the desk I was sitting behind, thinking. My brother had died a few weeks ago, and I'd found his journal discs hidden away in a box in the desk of his study. One of the things that puzzled me was why he felt he had to hide his journals away so cleverly. Being an Autobot, he had a thing going on with trust when he was alive, so I found it didn't make much sense as to why he would hide it... Unless there was danger in the knowledge that could be discovered in them somewhere. It made me wonder if he knew when he was going to die in the first place. Why else would he have hidden them away so secretly, and then only tell me the password to override the files?

In restless thought, I stood and moved over to the window on the other side of the room to look out at the lights of Autobot City in the far distance. I vaguely examined the dim glow they gave off, and somehow found myself wondering if a ghost gives off a similar glow. Primus himself knows I keep seeing things, why not just add ghosts to the list? The walking dead is nothing compared to the strange little spydors I _swear_ are running around the city like no tomorrow, yet no one else sees! At times, I see wreckages of crashed star fighters that aren't there. Just the other day, I felt like I was watching some strange movie as I was driving to the Council building; One moment I thought I saw the truck ahead of me swerve and smash into another hauler, yet when I blinked again, there wasn't a truck on the highway anywhere near me at all! For some reason, it reminds me of the time almost eight years ago where we had to chase around my brother and he kept disappearing on us, like he seemed content to be doing to me now.

Or was I just imagining him? Everyone else I'd mentioned it to acted like it was a joke, except my oldest sister, Shiori. But even still, there are times when Sentinel's sparkling, Hot Rod, is over, I swear that the small, red-gold bot can see something I can't. Not that it really bothers me. I just wonder why the small bot smiles at some tall, unseen _thing_, laughs at some unheard joke, or squeaks in delight at some unknown presence tickling him...

Okay, I admit it. It _does_ bother me. Why is it I can never _see_ this particular ghost, even though I already have a likely suspicion who it was? Why can I only see the _effects_ of him? I gently put the band of my helm against the cold windowpane, shutting my optics off. I _wanted_ to see him. _Wanted_ to hear his calming, almost royal, voice...

Wanted to know _why _he was still hanging around.

"Damn it all, brother," I sighed. "Do you just like to cause me confusion or something? I never could figure you out..." I tiredly reactivated my optics and looked at my reflection in the glass...

Except I wasn't the only one in the reflection.

My optics went wide, seeing who was standing behind me, just as an insubstantial hand was laid on my shoulder.

_His_ hand.

"By the Allspark, you've _got_ to be kidding me." I glanced over my shoulder, and saw no one was there. My optics flashed back to the window, and sure enough, there he was.

"Why are you _still_ here?" I quietly asked his reflection. His hand withdrew from my shoulder.

"Wait-" I turned again, hoping that I could convince him to stay, even if I couldn't see him normally. "Can't I help you?"

Silence.

"I just want to understand..." I felt my legs give out, and I fell to my knees. "Optimus please... _Why_ do you remain?" I remained there, tense, waiting for _anything_ for a reply...

And was rewarded with the soft, faint notes of his old pipe-flute playing a quiet, sad tune that harmonized with the wind chimes outside on the front porch...


	3. I'm Not Alone

Subi: n-n Amusedish... Don't ask.

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**I'm Not Alone**

You know, it gets a little frustrating to know that _someone_ is in the room with you, and you can't see them. The consistent feeling that you're being watched can drive you crazy, and yet every time you turn around, you're alone. When you're looking in the mirror, messing with your synthetic hair, and feeling someone brush their hand lightly down your back, and looking in the mirror, you see no one is there.

Which was _exactly_ what he was doing right now.

"Damn it, would you _go away_?" I growled, glaring at my reflection in the mirror. The unseen bot didn't leave.

But at least he stopped rubbing the back of my frame. _Better than nothing, I guess,_ I decided, _not quite as distracting._ With a soft sigh, I pulled my golden 'hair' back into a tight bun and wrapped the wire hair-band around it. Pausing after pulling my hands away from the bun- and still looking in the mirror-, I inquired to no one in particular: "Better up or down?"

My invisible guest tugged at the hair-band.

"Down?" I determined, with a faint frown. My brother had always loved my hair down. He'd always claimed that it made me look prettier, though in truth, I knew he just loved to play with the faint curls near the ends...

Primus, his ghost wasn't back to haunt me, was it?

I shook my head at that thought; My brother would have no reason to hang around after death. He knew that Star Convoy would give his life to protect me, and that I wouldn't purposely do anything that would get me killed. Cheryl was already gone, and with the Allspark. Magnus was strong enough to take care of himself, and he always had friends close by. My brother didn't have any reason to stay with the living. Unless maybe...

Perhaps he _couldn't_ leave?

My hands fell to grasp the edge of the counter in front of me, and I stared into the reflection of my swirling blue optics. Might that be it? Was that why he was still around? I'd heard stories from some of the troops in the city: sometimes a bonded mech could die and feel obligated to hang around until his bondmate joined him. Waiting for informants to show up at dark bars, I'd overheard some femmes trading similar rumors, only the involved were reversed: femmes could die, and then remain afterwards waiting for their mechs to pass away as well...

I frowned, thinking about that for a moment. If he _was_ waiting for someone, would he not spend most of his time near _them_, and not near his other family? Who might he be waiting for? He'd never mentioned to me about being bonded to someone...

I jumped as the long distance comm rang, then after one last, hasty glance at my reflection, hurried over to answer it.

"Shiori here, can I help you?"

"Hey sis."

"Magnus, how are you doing?"

"Not too bad. You?"

"Just thinking about some... recent... events." There was a pause on the other end of the communicator.

"Shior'... I... have you read any of Optimus's journals?"

"Have... Have I read them? No, Magnus, I haven't," I answered, moving to sit down on the chair next to the comm. unit.

"...Would you like to?"

"Why?" I inquired, resting my chin on my hand as I leaned on the table slightly.

"Because, they... they might explain some things that we can't figure out about how- or why- he died."

"Oh? Have you read any of them?"

"I just finished reading one or two entries from eight years ago." I picked up on a strange note in his voice, and felt my optics narrow slightly as I sat up. "And?" I prompted.

"I think he knew how he was going to die." was the quiet response. I froze, slightly stunned. I knew Optimus had always been rather perceptive, but not to _that_ extent.

"How... did he think he was going to die?"

"In battle."

"But he _didn't _die in battle..."

"As far as we could tell from the outside, he didn't." Once again, I frowned, this time at the implication Magnus was trying to voice.

"You think he died from... a _mental_ battle?"

"Maybe. From the looks of some of these entries, though... I think it wasn't just a mental battle, but an emotional one as well. I only glanced through some of his later entries, but... they just get so... so out of context with each other... It's like he can't follow any specific emotion all the way, but the most prominent ones are pain and sadness."

"So you're saying that he died because... he _missed_ something and it was somehow hurting him?" I tried to summerize for a better understanding of what he was trying to explain.

"Something like that."

"Any idea what could have caused that?"

"None. That's why I called you in the middle of the night." There was an edge of sarcasm in Magnus's voice, and I instantly caught onto it.

"What else did you call me for?"

"Damn you're good."

"It's my job as your oldest sister. Now what else is bothering you?" I demanded, glaring at the comm unit, knowing that he couldn't see the glare anyway.

"Him." I blinked, temporarily confused.

"Excuse me?"

"_He's_ bothering me," Magnus growled over the comm unit. I grimanced, "Get over it. He's bugging me too."

"How so?"

"How else?" I shot back.

"Ah... Well, I better go and get some rest. The council over here wants to see me tomorrow morning."

"Talk to you later, Magnus."

"Bye." There was a click from the communicator, and the line went dead. I sighed to no one in particular, "Things just get better and better, don't they?"

My invisible company just tugged at my hair-band again.


End file.
